You know you have a chronic, debilitating disease when…
You miss your job and grieve over having to give up your career – often when you’re quite young. Some of us spent our last days in tears because the job was so hard and painful, but we kept pushing because we’ve heard so often that people on disability are “lazy” and other hateful comments. Often from friends.
You spend all of your disability check on insurance and medicines – many of people with disabilities struggle month to month because the cost of insurance, doctors, and medications bankrupt them. After two years of being disabled (according to the Social Security Administration) the person qualifies for Medicare. Medicare doesn’t pay for any medications, and the person must pay twenty percent out of pocket. Most states don’t require supplemental policies to cover the disabled. Most, however, can obtain Medicare part D to help with the cost of medications, but it’s a guessing game to figure out which policy to choose that won’t leave the person in the lurch on the cost of expensive medications.
Your house looks like a medical supply store – for the days when you’re having problems with your knees or hips, you have a walker or a cane. Most of us have both. Some days you chose one, and other days you must choose the other one.
And then there are times when neither a walker or cane is enough… Many of us have wheelchairs and electric scooters stowed somewhere. If we go anywhere that involves much walking, the cane or the walker’s just not enough. Then, when we use our scooter in places like Disney, we hear snide remarks about being lazy, because of course, we don’t “look” disabled. What does disabled even look like?
We spend so much time with doctors, you’d think we would have a great relationship with them… And many of us do with some of our doctors. Two of my many doctors who listen to me and act upon what I tell them. They don’t ignore me. Unfortunately, that’s not always been the case. Before I was diagnosed (which by the way, can take YEARS because the symptoms are nonspecific and often mimic other diseases) I was told to try things like “a high protein diet” for the fatigue that I constantly complained about. It’s hard for us to trust a new doctor. If we’re told we need to see a new specialist, it strikes fear into our hearts because we recall all of the previous times when we had doctors who treated us as though we were lying. I mean who would lie about the symptoms we have?
We take enough pills to choke a horse – and often times we take pills to counteract the side effects of the pills that we take for our disease. Of course, we can opt not to take the pills for our diseases, but that leads to another set of problems.
Many of our medications are given through an IV, or we must learn to self-inject – next time commercials for Enbrel, Humira, etc come on TV, check out the drug. The lists of side effects are endless, the method of administration isn’t fun, and they cost a small fortune.
We’ve been xrayed, MRId, and CT scanned from stem to stern… Since most of these diseases can affect any and every part of us, we’ve been subjected to all sorts of testing. Including spinal punctures, blood tests, nerve conduction tests, etc.
Nice rash! We develop very weird symptoms. Often, they stump the doctors. We have flu-like symptoms most of the time – fever sometimes as high as 102), our brains are foggy at times preventing us from making good decisions, remembering appointments, etc. We have a pervasive feeling of being unwell. Sometimes the symptoms are actually a sign of an additional disease taking up residence because autoimmune diseases like to come in groups.
Some of the diseases affect the spine – but those of us with the diseases that “don’t” affect the spine, know better. We’ve developed multiple disc herniations, etc over the years. Recent studies have shown that we were correct all a long. Many of the Autoimmune Diseases that doctors originally told us won’t affect the spine, recent research has proven they affect the joints and the discs of the spine.
And the top way to know you suffer from a chronic, debilitating disease? You wake up more tired than when you went to bed the night before. Family and friends wonder what your problems because you’re late for church, work, school, etc. Your body is so exhausted, it doesn’t want to move. You feel like you could sleep until the end of time. Then, after you’re up a while, you hit your high point which lasts a couple of hours if you’re lucky.